It's not Sex

Abuse of Power is the Problem

Meritocracy and Equality is the Answer

Sexual harassment and assault often take place when men in positions of power and authority come to believe that their lofty position entitles them to special treatment and physical pleasure from subordinate women. This behavior is just plain wrong, no matter what other positive attributes the powerful possess or the good works they have performed.

In recent weeks, many men in powerful positions have been brought to task by women who found the strength to come forward with descriptions of their abuse and the impacts it has had on their lives and careers. We see it in media celebrities like Matt Lauer of NBC and Garrison Keillor of Prairie Home Companion fame at Minnesota Public Radio. We see it in the halls of Congress from the likes of Rep. John Conyers (D. Mich) and Sen. Al Franken (D. Minn). We even see it in the White House from the most powerful men in our government in Pres. Bill Clinton and Pres. Donald Trump. We see it in political races from those like Judge Roy Moore (R. Ala) and others too numerous to mention.

Some of the men have come clean, admitting their transgressions and seeking redemption through admission and going into self-reflective treatment. Some have been fired by their superiors who raced to adopt zero tolerance policies to avoid further corporate embarrassment and the litigation that often follows disclosure of inappropriate and unacceptable behavior. Others have maintained their innocence, even in the face of numerous accusers with clear evidence of abuse, and kept their positions, at least temporarily.

The media and many activists focus on the sexual nature of the conduct, seeking to draw attention from the salacious. What these critics miss, distracted by the sexual taboos, is the whole point of the behavior. The point is not sexual stimulation and pleasure. The point of the bad behavior is the misguided entitlement the abusers believe is theirs by divine right and their power to make or break the careers of those below them in stature.

Women seeking a seat at the table of authority in workplaces dominated by these men do not get to compete with their male colleagues based on talent, intellect or ability. All too often, they are convinced that the only path to advancement and success winds through the bedroom. They all too often find that path never leads to the table or the Board Room, just to the boudoir.

These abuses of power and authority are rarely addressed as the abuses of those attributes, but merely as inappropriate sexual behavior. Until the roots of male power over women are exposed, examined and redefined, these abuses will continue unabated. We will continue to hear from those few important women who dare to come forward and challenge the power structure, but nothing will change.

What these latest revelations are calling for is the creation of a true meritocracy in the workplace and at home.

We need a world where children are taught that they will find success, not based upon which genital set up they have under their clothes, but on what is between their ears and how they are able to put it to productive use. Our sons and daughters must be taught to respect one another and that no one, under any circumstances, is intrinsically superior to anyone else. The motto must be that we all bring value to the discussion and have the right to express our feelings freely.

Workplace cultures need redefinition along the same lines. It is no longer acceptable for men to become leaders just because they are men. Male generated ideas are no more valuable or important than female ideas. “Mansplaining” that puts women down with patronizing commentary needs to go. Expectations that women in the office are automatically the ones who make the coffee or clean the bathrooms or just take care of the menial tasks have no place in the workplace. It is long past time when women get paid less for the same work done by a male colleague.

The days of Ozzie and Harriet at home are over as well. Life at home has changed, especially since few households can survive on just one income. The workload there needs to be redefined and redistributed so that no one feels like they are carrying the whole load with the kids, the cooking, the cleaning and the dog. No man is ever entitled to sex, just because of his gender or the size of his paycheck.

If we truly want to see an end to sexual harassment and assault by men in power, we need to rebalance the distribution of power so that men and women are equal partners in all the efforts we take together.

Waring Fincke is a retired attorney and serves as a guardian for the elderly and disabled.