Hearing Loss

Hearing loss is a Family Affair

Communication is difficult

Living with a disability requires a lot of help. My ability to hear has been steadily declining for almost 20 years. It was probably caused by the loud rock music of my youth and the years I worked as a union stagehand for rock concerts in the 1970s before hearing protection was required. 

I started wearing basic analog hearing aids in 2005. I graduated to more powerful digital hearing aids in 2010. My hearing loss eventually made work as a trial lawyer impossible by late 2012. Trial work requires being able to hear everything that goes on in the courtroom. I retired from my law practice in 2013. 

My wife and kids have suffered from my hearing loss almost as much as I have. It makes every day conversation much more difficult. We now often have to rely upon a small microphone my wife can wear that connects directly to my hearing aids for me to hear and understand what she has to say, especially in the car or other noisy environments.

My ability to make out spoken words has decreased to the point where ordinary speech is all but unintelligible without my hearing aids.  Even with their assistance, I still need to see a speaker’s mouth and have context to fully understand a conversation. 

 I cannot use a regular telephone handset, but I can listen to my cell phone thanks to a Bluetooth connection between my iPhone and hearing aids. The same goes for television. We use both closed captioning and a Bluetooth audio connection to my aids. Even with the enhancements, I miss about 20 percent of the dialog. Because my loss is more profound in the higher frequencies, music has lost much value for me. I still listen to music from my younger years, filling in the high notes and lyrics from memory rather than hearing them anew.

It is almost impossible for me to carry on a conversation in noisy environments like restaurants, in the car while driving or in a group where more than one person is talking at the same time. Speech in large rooms, like courtrooms and meeting rooms is very difficult to understand.

Over the years, we have developed several rules for communicating that will be helpful for anyone with moderate to severe hearing impairment. 

Stop speaking from another room or across a large space. If I want to speak to my wife, I need to go where she is and the same is true for her.

Don’t speak with your back toward me. I need to see your mouth and body language to enhance understanding. Otherwise, all I hear is sound. When starting a new conversation, give me context like, “I want to talk to you about …….” Please do not start a conversation and continue it while walking away. Speak slowly and distinctly rather than louder. Preface a change of topic with an introduction. It takes me longer to catch on to a new topic without context.

If you want me to understand you, please don’t try to compete with other sounds in the room like the TV or radio, other people talking or while the water, fan or dishwasher are running. Steady sounds from these sources taking up most of my hearing and comprehension capacity. Those with normal hearing can usually sort out conversation from background noise. Hearing aids just amplify all the available sound and it becomes jumbled together and incomprehensible. 

If you want to speak to me, get my attention first. Say my name, tap me on the arm or do something to get me to look at you short of using a water balloon. I tend to concentrate more when reading or watching TV and I won’t understand that you want to talk to me if you don’t get my attention. 

It will help a lot if you remove obstructions to your speech. Take your hand away from your mouth, put the cigarette down, lose the gum. I don’t read lips, but do understand familiar words better by seeing your lips. Accents make comprehension much more complicated. 

Last, but not least, be patient. I will often ask you to repeat a word or phrase if I did not understand it the first or even the second time, especially if you use an unfamiliar word. 

As you might imagine, living with hearing loss can be very isolating. I cannot move about in my world as I once did. Movies and concerts are out. Lectures and speeches are gone too. Restaurants and parties are very difficult. Large groups are just noise. I can handle six people or so, but not too many more. 

Luckily, I now work as a guardian for the elderly and disabled and that allows me to use email and voicemail for much of my communication. Most of my conversations are one on one with others and most care givers understand how to communicate with those with hearing loss so speaking with them is usually easier. These environments and my aids allow me to remain productive and do work that matters. 

Living with hearing loss is not impossible, it just requires adjustments for all in order compensate for the loss.